It’s something that we all deal with at some point. It can be small and insignificant, or so significant to the point of life-changing. But why? Why do we, as girls who are called to live OUR lives SET APART and UNIQUE, in the calling God has for US, still compare ourselves? We’re human, that’s why.
As girls and women, we all face comparison. Society shoves materialism in our face, and shows us all these ‘perfect’ examples of what a woman, mother/daughter/friend/sister/aunty/grandparent, should look like… so of course it's HARD to not compare ourselves to these examples.
Growing up, going through high school, I had this pressure on myself to look a certain way. I remember thinking, 'all these girls at school are so beautiful, skinny and have perfect, flawless skin and put together lives.' And this wasn’t just a passing thought, it was something that affected how I viewed myself. I remember how I would never wear my sports uniform to school, simply because I didn't think my legs were skinny enough to wear that pair of shorts. So instead, I thought I needed to cover them with my long formal skirt... horrible, I know. But that was my reality! But one day I got to a point where I realised, ‘wow! I am exactly who God intended for me to be, flaws and all!’ In fact, the flaws I found in myself weren’t really flaws, that's simply what made me, me. I learnt to love my ‘thick thighs’ (ha!) and I learnt to love the person that God made me.
So I guess you’re thinking, how do you stop comparing yourself?
IT'S HARD. It takes time... and it’s different for everyone. My story won’t be the same as yours. But it’s important to remember a few little things.
God made you just the way you were supposed to be! What we see in our day to day lives, the media throwing ideal body types at us, skincare ads showing us how good your skin ‘should look’ and YouTube showing us how ‘perfect’ people's lives seem to be, isn’t reality! The actual reality is that God didn't call us to compare who we are, or the lives we live, with others. He didn't intend for us to live with a weight of comparison upon us, being carried around in our day to day lives. Instead, He calls us to be His daughter, set apart, unique and beautiful! Regardless of what you may think is imperfect about yourself, He made YOU in HIS perfect image.
So the question then is, how can you practically stop comparing yourself??
Girl, unfollow that account on insta. Full stop. What we see affects how we feel and that can affect how we feel about ourselves! If the people you follow, or the things you watch, often make you compare yourself and affect your emotions, block that out. All you need is the word of God and some solid friends who will tell you you’re beautiful, regardless of what you think.
Read the word. Instead of searching for your self worth in the world, go to His word and find out what HE says about you!! Some of my favs are; Proverbs 31:25, Proverbs 31:26, and Psalm 139:14.
Cheer each other on. We live in a world so focussed on being better than the next, and prettier and skinnier than others. Instead of tearing each other down and pointing out people's flaws, be that person who points out the beauty in others! Point out the things that you admire - their work ethic, humility, wisdom, ability to honour, their amazing mumma skills. You’ll see that your positive influence on someone else, will make you realise the same about yourself - you’re beautiful.
Love Yourself. You are beautiful. You are unique. And you are precious. Learn to love who God made you to be. Truth is, nobody in this world is like you. You are one of a kind. If God wanted us to all be the same, He would have made us the same. But he didn't. Which means that He made you with your uniqueness in mind. He set you apart from everyone else! You, yes you, have a unique calling, unique gifting upon your life. And once you learn to love all that He made you to be, you’ll soon learn that you, my friend, are pure gold.
I asked the beautiful and one of a kind Eliaana Thompson, to share some insight into what she thinks a life looks like, living without comparison… and to be honest, I couldn’t have said it better myself.
“In my opinion, a life without comparison is the ULTIMATE liberation. We were created to live in freedom with Jesus and when we stop looking at how we are failing or how everyone around us is further along the journey, we can live in that freedom to the fullest!”
- Eliaana Thompson
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Gabby Geerling is a young gun on our staff team! Along with her husband Josh, she leads the iSEE CHURCH Brisbane City Campus youth ministry, and together they have a heart to raise up the next generation! Gabby is also the chaplain at Brisbane State High School, one of the largest high schools in Queensland. It is her heart to be a light to students within her school, and bring a sense of belonging to each and every student she reaches!